The End of Week 1 and the Dreaded Weigh-In

Today marks the start of week 2 of P90X for me. Looking back, I had a great week with the program. There is no doubt that my mentality was one of simply getting through each workout. Ipushed myself, but always had in mind that it is fine to simply work through the exercises. At times this felt like I was dogging it, at times it felt like I was making a smart choice so that I would show up again the next day. And that I did. I showed up every day. I also ate well. I haven't been trying to follow the nutrition guide with P90X, but I do eat pretty healthily.

So, where am I now. I chose Saturday mornings as my weigh-in morning and that's today. Heading to the scale, I noticed that I feel better than I did last week. More energy, a bit more toned, stomach (slightly) smaller. As I stepped towards the scale, I told myself that THAT is what is important. No doubt, I want to lose weight. I have my sights set on sub 180. I figured a few pounds (with a slight chance of up to 5 pounds) would be a good step. Last week 211 pounds, this week...210.8 pounds. And there goes the wind from the sails. That sucks. The effort doesn't suck. The way I feel doesn't suck. But come on! Are you frakking kidding me! All that and essentially no movement towards 180?

Where do I go from here?

• For one, I am going to give the nutrition guide a look. I am not interested in drinking power shakes or supplements or crazy diets. I want healthy and sensible. Maybe the guide will give me enough of that to move in the right direction. (Really though, I never eat fast food, I haven't had any alcohol, I eat little meat compared to most, I had dessert once and that was corn pops from Wegmans. Doing alot right!)
• As far as the workouts go, I will step them up. I am using the training philosophy I used for the Cherry Blossoms 10 Miler. Start easy and build, build, build. Nothing but time as I get stronger and fitter over the next 12 weeks. Rome was not built in a day. So, this week I will start recording numbers (I didn't have worksheets last week.) I will keep giving my best, and, yup, forgetting the rest.

The big question for me right now is do I weigh in next week or not. Before seeing the number, I felt good. Healthier. Happier. Afterward, I felt disappointed. I feel like I might just weigh in at the end of each cycle (essentially the end of each month). Or maybe at the start of the recovery weeks. I think I will leave it open until next week and see how I feel next Saturday.

For now, I will do Yoga X this morning, work hard this week, keep an eye on my diet and continue to be healthier and healthier.

New Year's Day

January 1, 2011

Other than my daughter being born in 2010, I look at that year in pretty negative light. It seems to have been the year my 40's really kicked in and the year I lost my friend Delaney. As I view it now, I remember illnesses, injuries and sadness mixed with a bit of joy in Juliet's arrival.

But that is now in the past!

As I look ahead to 2011, I have been trying to think of some guiding words. Here is what comes to mind: resurgence, tenacity, focus, caring.

I have alot to look forward to:

• Starting a Masters program through Boise State as I begin a new stage in my teaching career. It'll be tough to balance it with work, family and fitness, but I am very excited about the work and the learning.
• Rebuilding my fitness. I really only worked out 4 months last year. I trained for the Cherry Blossom in April and let it slide form there (granted that softball brought a number of injuries that hindered progress. I had no triathlons and I don't think I even ran a 5K race. Starting today, I am working through a 90 day round of P90X. After that, a more triathlon directed program for summer and ending with a long run (marathon?) late in the year.
• My family is growing up. I can't believe how big Juliet is already. Jocelyn can have a normal conversation with me. Jackson is getting closer and closer to Jocelyn in height and speed. This year, I become an example for them. Let me say that better, I am always an example for them, this year I become a GOOD example for them. Healthy eating, regular exercise, laughing more and just plain enjoying my time with them. All the things I want them to be.

As far as exercise goes, P90X starts today. I will start in day 4 of the program to fit my schedule best and end on days 1,2 and 3 after day 87. Since the program is broken into three sections, I am dedicating each section to one of my kids for inspiration. January is for Jocelyn, February is for Jackson and March is for Juliet. I will push through the program to the bets of my ability without risking injury. I imagine that each section will have it's challenges. January is the start and if I push too hard, I risk injury. February is a transition to a new phase and that can be tough for me. March has two weeks of vacation. It will take focus and tenacity.

Just some stats:

• Weight on 1/1/2011: 211 lbs
• Waist size: 38(+)
• Flexibility (scale of 1-5): 2
• Strength (scale of 1-5):3
• Endurance (scale of 1-5):2
• Overall Sense of Myself (scale of 1-5):3

All in all, I look forward to the challenges and opportunities 2011 will bring.

Teaching lessons that you need yourself

I had a good conversation with a student yesterday. He is not a great student, but really it comes down to the fact that he just doesn't put in much effort. He could do well, he has shown this in spurts. He could be very good in some ways, but old habits seem to keep him down.

We talked about how he clearly doesn't put forth the effort he would need to to achieve certain goals (though whether those are his goals or not is an issue too). He does just enough to feel like he is moving towards those goals. Just enough to not despair or to not fail. But never enough to actually succeed.

As I was talking to him I used myself as an example. "I want to be a triathlete, but do the same thing you do. I do enough work to feel like I am heading to that goal, but never enough to make progress." It was a realization. Doing just enough to keep the demons away seems to be a habit for me. There are moments of progress, but the long view shows something different.

In the end, this was a great opportunity to see myself in a clear light. The motivation is there, the time is scarce (and going to get even scarcer.) I need goals and a plan laid out. I do need patience, but I also need drive and persistence.

Here is a simple plan (I know I have to focus it way more):

• Improve General Fitness
• Build Triathlon Fitness base
• Improve Triathlon Fitness

I can build up from there.

At the Bottom

The reality speaks for itself. 30-40 pounds overweight. Haven't exercised with any kind of regularity since April (it is mid-December now). The stress of work keeps seeming to build. The family, with the new baby, well, that one is just great. I'll take the interrupted sleep and the occasional tantrums over just about anything outside of my family right now. All in all, I seem to have hit a period of being just plain glum.

What doesn't appear so obvious to me is why. Why am I not exercising? Why is work causing me such strife? Why have I let this stall become my norm? Do I want to stay this way or do I want to get more out of my life? Without a doubt, my kids WILL pick up habits from me. Their views of life will be formed over the next handful of years. I guess a great question is: Would I be happy to see my kids live my life?

Boy, I want to be able to answer yes to that last question. Right now, the answer is no. I would want them to be happier. To live each day with joy. To roll with the punches and keep trying to grow and improve. To be healthy. To eat foods that are good for their bodies. To exercise because it is both fun and good for your. To live lightly and not take every bad break like it is the end of the world. To take risks (smart ones, but risks none the less.) To show emotion. To take advantage of opportunities and to always be giving to others. To empathize and aid others when they can. To love their family and show it on a daily basis.

All in all, I am not at rock bottom in my life. Yes, 2010 has had some tough times, but not as tough as for many, many other. I lost a dear friend, but gained a new daughter. I was injured and sick, but I am healed. I was upset about work, but I have work to go to every day.

It reminds of the passage that includes "I asked God for strength and he gave me difficulties to make me stronger." I may not have a clear vision of God, but I can grow on that idea. Off to do so now...