Teaching lessons that you need yourself

I had a good conversation with a student yesterday. He is not a great student, but really it comes down to the fact that he just doesn't put in much effort. He could do well, he has shown this in spurts. He could be very good in some ways, but old habits seem to keep him down.

We talked about how he clearly doesn't put forth the effort he would need to to achieve certain goals (though whether those are his goals or not is an issue too). He does just enough to feel like he is moving towards those goals. Just enough to not despair or to not fail. But never enough to actually succeed.

As I was talking to him I used myself as an example. "I want to be a triathlete, but do the same thing you do. I do enough work to feel like I am heading to that goal, but never enough to make progress." It was a realization. Doing just enough to keep the demons away seems to be a habit for me. There are moments of progress, but the long view shows something different.

In the end, this was a great opportunity to see myself in a clear light. The motivation is there, the time is scarce (and going to get even scarcer.) I need goals and a plan laid out. I do need patience, but I also need drive and persistence.

Here is a simple plan (I know I have to focus it way more):

• Improve General Fitness
• Build Triathlon Fitness base
• Improve Triathlon Fitness

I can build up from there.

At the Bottom

The reality speaks for itself. 30-40 pounds overweight. Haven't exercised with any kind of regularity since April (it is mid-December now). The stress of work keeps seeming to build. The family, with the new baby, well, that one is just great. I'll take the interrupted sleep and the occasional tantrums over just about anything outside of my family right now. All in all, I seem to have hit a period of being just plain glum.

What doesn't appear so obvious to me is why. Why am I not exercising? Why is work causing me such strife? Why have I let this stall become my norm? Do I want to stay this way or do I want to get more out of my life? Without a doubt, my kids WILL pick up habits from me. Their views of life will be formed over the next handful of years. I guess a great question is: Would I be happy to see my kids live my life?

Boy, I want to be able to answer yes to that last question. Right now, the answer is no. I would want them to be happier. To live each day with joy. To roll with the punches and keep trying to grow and improve. To be healthy. To eat foods that are good for their bodies. To exercise because it is both fun and good for your. To live lightly and not take every bad break like it is the end of the world. To take risks (smart ones, but risks none the less.) To show emotion. To take advantage of opportunities and to always be giving to others. To empathize and aid others when they can. To love their family and show it on a daily basis.

All in all, I am not at rock bottom in my life. Yes, 2010 has had some tough times, but not as tough as for many, many other. I lost a dear friend, but gained a new daughter. I was injured and sick, but I am healed. I was upset about work, but I have work to go to every day.

It reminds of the passage that includes "I asked God for strength and he gave me difficulties to make me stronger." I may not have a clear vision of God, but I can grow on that idea. Off to do so now...